Single Servant: Does the Church Keep Black Women Single

The sounds of gospel music dances in the air and into the ears of the children to awaken them from their Saturday night slumber. Mom is up and trying on her newest pair of flesh colored stockings, deciding on which earrings will go best with her solid black skirt that reaches pass her knees. The smell of a burning "hotcomb" is all so familiar to the small noses of the children who are annoyed because they have to be up so early. But no one was up as early as grandmother who had been reading her Bible before the cock crowed 3 times.

Within 45 minutes the entire family was ready to leave and head to the lords house. There's mom, grand mom, two beautiful young girls and the handsome youngest boy. But someone is missing. Dad!!! Not just dad, a man period. They arrive to the church, and if you were a bird on a wire sitting adjacent from this beautiful  building you'd be watching the faithful fill this colored stained window institution with sprinkles of men in the crowd. Most of the males or men that are there are the elders who are up in age, or young boys who are their under the threats of their mom or grand mom. There are some who are young adults and middle aged, but most of the middle aged men are married. But for the vast majority, this church symbolizes the statistics of black women in our country. Approximately 42% of black women in America are unmarried. Why is this number so high, especially within a population who are faithful to a ideology that married is the divine order of raising a family.

Nearly ninety percent of African-Americans express "certain belief in God" and 55 percent say they "interpret scripture literally," according to the 2009 Pew Research Center study "A Religious Portrait of African-Americans."

One of the speculated reasons as to why black women who go to church are single is because many hold the idea, and in some communities it is taught that if a man doesn't go to church he is automatically disqualified a to being a potential mate. That alone will limit the choices of men they can choose from because black men are less likely to be affiliated with a church to even attend. This alludes to a previous article I wrote entitled "Why most black men don't go to church". according to Dr. Boyce Watkins,a professor at Syracuse University and advocate for African-American issues believes the social structure of the church keeps black men from attending.

"Those appealing, high-testosterone guys have a hard time getting into the 'Follow the leader, give me your money, and listen to what I have to say' attitude."

"Many of us have a difficult time submitting to the pastor who is just another man."

The male pastor, Cooper says, is the "alpha male" for many black women. Over-reverence for the pastor - or any religious figure for that matter - creates barriers for the black man, she says, because he feels like he must compete for the No. 1 spot in a black woman's heart.

 

 

In many cases women view their pastor as the ideal man, and any man who wants to be in their lives must meet or exceed this ideal set by the alpha male in the church. Once again limiting their options. Our core values and morals aren't set and established in a building, they follow us everyday in our lives. So with that being said, if black women wish to raise their chances of finding a man, they must be where the men are, and that sure isn't in church. By no means am I saying for women to leave the church. But first you must realize that just because a man doesn't attend church regularly or at all, it doesn't mean he isn't a upstanding moral and faithful man.

 

 

And when you find a man, more specifically a good man, if he sees that attending church is very important to you, he wouldn't mind attending because he loves you as the lord would want him to. But until then, you have to go where he is. Here's a hint GO LIONS!!!!!!

Ignorance is Bliss. (The Acceptance of Self-Delusion)

There is an old saying that goes "Ignorance is Bliss". We say it often, but I don't really think many of us knows what it actually means. The root word of ignorance is "ignore". What is ignore? To ignore is to refuse & acknowledge or intentionally disregard or recognize the obvious. So when we say "Ignorance is Bliss" were saying, not knowing something is more comfortable than knowing.

It is natural for human beings to go into a self-preservation mode when they believe their life is in danger, whether it be physically or emotionally. We protect ourselves from physical external danger in order for continual life and survival. We emotionally guard ourselves usually after we have been emotionally damaged in the past from a broken heart, hurt from a family member from friends, most of the time from the people we love or care about. These are natural actions & reactions that occurs without intent.

But what I find interesting is the way we go into this self-preservation mode mentally & psychologically. Out of all these self-preservation modes, protecting the mental & psychological self seems to be the only one we will intentionally immerse ourselves into when we are faced with a reality that contradicts the way we were raised. We intentionally ignore proven facts & truth because it may go against what we've been conditioned to learn our entire lives.

The interesting part of this is that if we knew someone who grew up next to us our entire lives, whether it be a brother, sister, cousin, or friend and you both are spoon fed the same stories as a child, but this person decides to go against status quo and venture outside the realm of what you've learned, then this person returns to inform you and everyone else that what you've learned is not reality. This person is ostracized or villified. He/she is accused of being uppity, evil, or not real anymore. And can be threatened with death.

For some of my readers you may already be familiar with "Allegory of the Cave" by the Greek Philospher Plato. But for those of you who are not, I strongly encourage you to continue to read this blog because I will attempt to give you a synopsis of the story.

Allegory of the Cave is a story told by Plato in his work "The Republic" to illustrate our nature in its education and want of an education. It is written as a fictional dialogue between Plato's teacher Socrates and Platos brother Glaucon.

INSIDE THE CAVE

Socrates describes a group of people who have lived chained to the wall of a cave all of their lives. they are facing a blank wall, the people watch shadows projected on the wall by things passing in front of a fire behind them, and begin to personify these shadows. He asks Glaucon to imagine a cave inhabited by people who have been chained and held there since childhood: not only are their arms and legs held in place, but their heads are also fixed, they have no choice but to stare at a wall in front of them. Behind these people is a blazing fire, and between the fire and the people is a walkway, on this walkway people are walking carrying things on their head. These are figures of men and animals made of wood, brick and other materials". The people watch the shadows cast by the men, not knowing they are shadows. There are also echoes off the wall from the noise produced from the walkway.

Socrates suggests the people would believe the shadows to be real things and the echoes to be real sounds, not just reflections of reality, since they are all they had ever seen or heard. After a while they would begin to give praise to the persons who could  guess which shadow would come next, as someone who understood the nature of the world, and the whole of their society would depend on the shadows on the wall.

RELEASED FROM THE CAVE

Socrates then says lets suppose one of these people are freed from the shackles and allowed to stand up. Then someone shows this person the figure that were actually casting the figures on the wall. This person will not recognize them or name them and will still continue to believe the shadows on the wall is more real than what he sees with his own eyes.

Say he is then instructed to look at the fire, wouldn't he be almost struck with blindness and through self-preservation try to revert back to looking at the shadows, because that is his reality. He is then forced out of the cave. He will kick and scream and fight initially. Once he is completely out the cave he will be disoriented, the light will be to bright for his ees that is accustomed to darkness. But after some time, his eyes will aclimate to the light. He will then realize that it is the Sun that is responsible for the changing of the seasons, it is the source of life, it gives them light to see all that they survey outside the cave.

RETURN TO THE CAVE

This person has now returned to the cave. Socrates then asks Glaucon to think about the condition of this man. He would remember his first home and what passed for knowledge and wisdom there, he would remember his family and friends. He would then consider himself wiser, learned & happier and consider them unlearned and in darkness. He  would begin to develope a distaste for the things they honor and praise, and the gifts they were awarded for who guessed best which shadows followed which. Also, when he returned he would be terrible at the game he once use to play, because he is no longer in darkness. The people would actually tell him he went up and came back corrupted, he no longer know where he comes from. And in their opinion it's not even worth them to try and go up. They'd rather stay where they are in their own reality. And if they were somehow able to get their hands on and kill the man who attempts to release and lead them up, they would do it.

MORAL OF THE STORY

We as a people not only black people but people as a whole are comfortable with our ignorance. We feel safe where we are because it is our comfort zone. Anyone who is exposed to the light and cmes back to teach us, lead us and guide us will be considered the enemy. I say it is time for us to come into the light. This story can apply to so many facids of our lives. Whether its "The Hood Keep it Real" mentality "Our spiritual & religious beliefs" our idea on "Community Upliftment and Family". What do you think? Until next time .......Peace

"Welcome To The New Jim Crow " The Mass Incarceration of African-American Men

If you approach any person on the street who has even the most limited knowledge about the African-American experience here in a America, and ask them have blacks made progress in the political, social, educational & economic realm of our society. You will probably get a resounding YES! Blacks, Whites, Arabs, Asians & Hispanics would agree with this. Most likely the percentage of the affirmitive would vary among each ethnic group, with the highest % of those who agree being white and the lowest being among blacks.

How can someone disagree? Just look at all the black people who have broken the chains of social opression to make into the upper echelon of the American Dream and have established the print of black american normalcy. We have, Oprah Winfery, Jay-Z, Bob Johnson, Bill Cosby, Michael Jordan & of course our 44th President of The United States Barack Hussein Obama. This list goes on & on. But of course (insert sarcastisc voice here) all of these successful black people recieved there riches by  belonging to secret satanic societies, such as the Illuminati, The Boule & The Freemasons. By the way shout out to my bruhs the Prince Hall Free & Accepted Masons, members of King David Lodge # 20 of Muskegon MI. Travel light Bruhs.  

With all of that being said, there is no way we can deny the progress we've made. I for one, will not & cannot deny advancements by our people. But you must understand that the progress of a people is not determined by how many wealthy individuals they have produced over time. It's determined by the seismic shift of advancement the group has made over all. I want you to take a look at some alarming facts about the incarceration of the black men in our country. According to Michelle Alexander author of "The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness". 


* There are more African Americans under correctional control today -- in prison or jail, on probation or parole -- than were enslaved in 1850, a decade before the Civil War began.

* As of 2004, more African American men were disenfranchised (due to felon disenfranchisement laws) than in 1870, the year the Fifteenth Amendment was ratified prohibiting laws that explicitly deny the right to vote on the basis of race.

* If you take into account prisoners, a large majority of African American men in some urban areas, like Chicago, have been labeled felons for life. These men are part of a growing undercaste -- not class, caste -- a group of people who are permanently relegated, by law, to an inferior second-class status. They can be denied the right to vote, automatically excluded from juries, and legally discriminated against in employment, housing, access to education, and public benefits -- much as their grandparents and great-grandparents once were during the Jim Crow era.

I attribute "The War on Drugs" as the catalyst of this phenomenon. The so called war on drugs which is a war thats been wage pretty much exculsively on poor communities & predominately on people of color. It has given our country ways to legally deny black men the right to vote, automatically excluded them from juries, and legally discriminated against in employment, housing, access to education, and public benefits.

Naysayers will try and attribute these facts by insisting that it is the rising crime rates in the black community that has made these numbers possible. However, some studies indicate that white youth are significantly more likely to engage in illegal drug dealing than black youth. The issue is that black men are incarcerated at such a higher rate for the same exact crime that his white counterparts recieve probabations & slaps on the wrist for.

So while we in the right hand imprison black men at least 5 times before the age of  25 for the same crimes white men are giving a pass on. Then upon release, place them into a caste system where there is virtually no way for them to advance in a already weak economy, predjudice workforce, automatic denial of finacial aid for college & public benefits because of his criminal past. Then in the left hand, we deny predominately black families more benefits if he resides in the home with his kids & their mother, so she keeps him out the home to keep higher food stamps & TANF benefits, provide her with housing benefits, educational opportunities, employment opportunities which then  creates a self-delusional idea of a "independent woman" which unfortunately leads to a divide in the black family because he can't provide and she thinks she doing both jobs as parents. She remaims pacified & he remains classified. and none of us advances.

So while we were crowning President Clinton as the 1st Black President (Pre-Obama) because he played a saxaphone, smoked weed & recieved fallatio in the oval office from an intern we weren't looking at the fact that he alone could have overriden the congressional vote to pass this mandatory minimum, but he declined to do so, and the 100:1 ratio persist to this day....Part 2 of this will focus on Prisons them self and the inhumane treatment. Is it a place for punishment, rehabilition or both...Until next time.....Peace

"The Broken Window Theory" Black Men Reclaim Your Communities.

There is an old african proverb that I'm sure all of my readers are familar with. Its goes, "It takes a village to raise a child". This quote has been used so many times & commercialized that the power behind it has almost diminished. The concept behind this proverb is to indicate that not only does mom & dad have a responsibility to raise their children, but the entire community is obligated to. Aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors, friends, everyone raises every child.  Out of the many traditions, beliefs & practices that our ancestors abandoned willingly or by force through slavery, I am glad that this is one of the ones that carried on.

However, even this concept & tradition has not been able to stand the test of time. We now live in the age of "Me". People are now only concerned with themselves, they only look out for their own interest, their own home, their own family & their own children. Even worse, is that home, family, & children are not even concerned for anymore, but we'll discuss that another time.

After my freshman year at Ferris State University, I came home to deliver a speech for a "Rites of Passage" ceremony. (Pause) I want to take this time out to briefly explain to my readers who may not know what exactly a "Rites of Passage" is.  A rite of passage is an african ritual that marks a person's progress from one status to another. This ritual can consist of many tests of endurance, knowledge, agility etc. After the person(s) complete these particular tasks they must go in front of the community elders & ask for permission to become an adult. If the community elders feels they haven't complied or have been less than satisfactory they can be denied permission into adulthood. Now that is key because they may by all means in age be considered an adult in our society today, but to that community they are still considered children.

Now during my rite of passage our tasks included community service, book reports from required readings, learning a new language which at that time was Swahili (I now speak french as a second language), skills in public speaking, completing school homework & maintaining good grades. Yeah, it seemed like alot, and yes it was alot, but it built character & most importantly we stayed so busy we didn't have time to get in trouble.

So here I am delivering this speech in 1997 as a "Man" (so said my elders). Now in this speech I entitled it "The Village Garden," and in a nut shell what I said was that even today the village is continuing to raise the child, but the problem was that the wrong people were tending the village. What I cleverly did was compare our communities to "Gardens". I personified a garden to show the comparisons to our village. I said that the children were the seeds, and that the gardeners were the elders or the proper ones to help these seeds eventually blossom & grow. However, if you do not tend to the garden as you should, weeds will begin to infiltrate the garden & kill the flowers. The weeds being drug dealers, drug users, prostitutes, thugs etc.

This brings me to the concept of the "Broken Window Theory" The broken window theory is a theory that uses cause & effects to prove that disorder and vandalism & other crimes can be spread like a disease and contribute to the decline of a neighborhood, and that with community effort of monitoring and maintaining your neighborhood in a well-ordered condition it could possible to prevent further vandalism as well as an escalation into more serious crimes. This theory was first introduced in a 1982 article by social scientists James Q. Wilson and George L Kelling. Since then it has been subject to great debate both within the social science and in the public debate.

Now let me quickly explain why I believe this to be true. I grew up in the projects of Pontiac Michigan, affectiontley known as the  P.J.P or the Project Posse. Lakeside Homes was the proper name. And at that time this community was considered to be the most dangerous in the city. It has now been torned down due to gentrification. If you enterd this place, especially after dark, you better be quick to either tell the gang memebers there who you were, who you were with, who your related to and your buisness there. If not, you could end up leaving in the back of an ambulance or in a coroner van. True story, just asked my sisters boyfriend at the time. He & his friend left in an ambulance.

Do you see how the gang took control over the community? Do you see how they have the power to control & dictate who enters & who can't? Why can't this be done in the reverse? Or even for that matter go back to when the positive black men in the community would lead the community to were their  women & children felt safe. This means patrol our communities, if there is a vacant home who's grass needs to be cut, cut it, so that it looks livable or occupied, if the vacant home has a  broken window, fix the window. If you don't, it's likely kids or gangs will break the rest of the windows because it shows knowone cares about this home. Eventually all the windows will be broken, then they will break into the vacant home, use it as a drug spot, a place for prostitution drug use, or the homless will move in, they will begin loitering and eventually it will spread across the street until someone breaks into your home, the whole neighborhood is now overun & it now takes police 5 hrs to come on an emergency call.

Form neighborhood watches. Neighborhood watches is not a snitch group. Snitching is when 2 or more people are engaged in illegal activities. 1 of the 2 is caught by the authorities and decide or is forced to give up the other in exchange for a lesser penalty. But if an innocent person witnessess a crime that can or has brought harm to them or others and tells the authorities, I'm sorry but thats not snitching & if you think I am a snitch after reading this then okay I'll be that. I'd rather turn in someone for killing a 5 yr old who was a victim of a stray bullet than know who did it and not say anything. I have a conscience.

So as I sit here sipping my green tea giving you my 2 cents on life, community, obligation & duty. I cannot help but hear the kids unsupervised outside instigating a fight. In the spirit of reclaimimg my community I'm headed outside to break it up...Peace.