Single Servant: Does the Church Keep Black Women Single

The sounds of gospel music dances in the air and into the ears of the children to awaken them from their Saturday night slumber. Mom is up and trying on her newest pair of flesh colored stockings, deciding on which earrings will go best with her solid black skirt that reaches pass her knees. The smell of a burning "hotcomb" is all so familiar to the small noses of the children who are annoyed because they have to be up so early. But no one was up as early as grandmother who had been reading her Bible before the cock crowed 3 times.

Within 45 minutes the entire family was ready to leave and head to the lords house. There's mom, grand mom, two beautiful young girls and the handsome youngest boy. But someone is missing. Dad!!! Not just dad, a man period. They arrive to the church, and if you were a bird on a wire sitting adjacent from this beautiful  building you'd be watching the faithful fill this colored stained window institution with sprinkles of men in the crowd. Most of the males or men that are there are the elders who are up in age, or young boys who are their under the threats of their mom or grand mom. There are some who are young adults and middle aged, but most of the middle aged men are married. But for the vast majority, this church symbolizes the statistics of black women in our country. Approximately 42% of black women in America are unmarried. Why is this number so high, especially within a population who are faithful to a ideology that married is the divine order of raising a family.

Nearly ninety percent of African-Americans express "certain belief in God" and 55 percent say they "interpret scripture literally," according to the 2009 Pew Research Center study "A Religious Portrait of African-Americans."

One of the speculated reasons as to why black women who go to church are single is because many hold the idea, and in some communities it is taught that if a man doesn't go to church he is automatically disqualified a to being a potential mate. That alone will limit the choices of men they can choose from because black men are less likely to be affiliated with a church to even attend. This alludes to a previous article I wrote entitled "Why most black men don't go to church". according to Dr. Boyce Watkins,a professor at Syracuse University and advocate for African-American issues believes the social structure of the church keeps black men from attending.

"Those appealing, high-testosterone guys have a hard time getting into the 'Follow the leader, give me your money, and listen to what I have to say' attitude."

"Many of us have a difficult time submitting to the pastor who is just another man."

The male pastor, Cooper says, is the "alpha male" for many black women. Over-reverence for the pastor - or any religious figure for that matter - creates barriers for the black man, she says, because he feels like he must compete for the No. 1 spot in a black woman's heart.

 

 

In many cases women view their pastor as the ideal man, and any man who wants to be in their lives must meet or exceed this ideal set by the alpha male in the church. Once again limiting their options. Our core values and morals aren't set and established in a building, they follow us everyday in our lives. So with that being said, if black women wish to raise their chances of finding a man, they must be where the men are, and that sure isn't in church. By no means am I saying for women to leave the church. But first you must realize that just because a man doesn't attend church regularly or at all, it doesn't mean he isn't a upstanding moral and faithful man.

 

 

And when you find a man, more specifically a good man, if he sees that attending church is very important to you, he wouldn't mind attending because he loves you as the lord would want him to. But until then, you have to go where he is. Here's a hint GO LIONS!!!!!!

Why #BlackLivesMatter: The Fight For Equal Rights, Equal Protection and Equal Punishment.

The reminiscent atmosphere of the turbulent 60's and civil rights has slowly but surely crept its way back into the forefront of the American social consciousness. African-American men, women and children have found themselves as targets and in the crosshairs of  white supremacist rifles, police issued guns and at the mercy of a judicial system where in its DNA is systematic racism that will try and convict them at a higher rate than that over their white counterparts.

In response to the tragedies of Tamir Rice, Mike Brown, Sandra Bland the Charleston South Carolina terrorist attack and countless murders of other black men, women and children who've died at the hands of white police officers and extremist The people have spoken, the people have cried, the people is now yelling #BlackLivesMatter.

It seems that while many of us understands what #BlackLivesMatter means, many don't. Mainstream America in a predictable attempt to trivialize the #BlackLivesMatter movement has countered with an #AllLivesMatter respond. However, as I heard a poet once say "Fuck All Lives Matter" because all lives aren't being taken. The #BlackLivesMatter movement is in no way trying to say that black lives are more special than others, it's not saying we want better treatment. What we're saying is that our lives are equally as important as everyone else's. We deserve to have our rights equally protected, and if we find ourselves in the hands of the law for whatever reason, we have the right to be treated equally even in punishment.

Detractors, black and white alike attempt to inject propaganda to take steam away from the #BlackLivesMatter ideology with "Black on Black Crime" Statistics. It's truly disappointing to see people try so hard kill a movement built on a benevolent cause, especially so-called leaders in the black community.

Black on Black crime is a problem. I will not deny that. However, so is white on white crime. According to FBI homicide data white on white crime is at 83% and is study rising, while black on black crime is at its lowest rate in decades. The fact of the matter is every race commits acts of violence more within their own race than any other. This has absolutely nothing to do with the issue at hand. If a black man, kills another black man. One black man is dead and the other will likely be guaranteed and lengthy prison sentence as he should. It will not be swept under the rug, the suspect will not be allowed to go home and still earn money while awaiting an internal investigation by his friends and peers.

This would synonymous as telling America, even though Terrorist are killing us and our allies, we need to be focused more on American on American violence because, Americans kill more Americans than terrorist kill us. Do you see how stupid that sounds.

My hope is that the death of Sandra Bland does not become another story with immediate outrage and fizzle out of the minds of the people and become another story on the back page of newspapers. My hope is that as a black man, I can feel free to exercise my rights if I see they are being trampled by police authority, and if I am guilty of a crime. My punishment be equal to my white neighbor.